Something to make you laugh for a change.
Published March 3, 2010 | 
The last Nickel
A father walks into a restaurant with his young son…
He gives the young boy 3 nickels to play with to keep him occupied.
Suddenly, the boy starts choking; going blue in the face…
The father realizes the boy has swallowed the nickels and starts slapping him on the back… The boy coughs up 2 of the nickels, but keeps choking. Looking at his son, the father is panicking, shouting for help. A well dressed, attractive, and serious looking woman, in a blue Business suit is sitting at a coffee bar Reading a newspaper and sipping a cup of coffee.
At the sound of the commotion, she looks up, puts her Coffee cup down, Neatly folds the newspaper and places it on the Counter, gets up from her seat and makes her way, unhurried, across the Restaurant. Reaching the boy, the woman carefully drops his pants; takes hold of the Boy’s’ testicles and starts to squeeze and twist, gently at first and then ever so firmly… After a few seconds the boy convulses violently and coughs up the last nickel, which the woman deftly catches in her free hand.
Releasing the boy’s testicles, the woman hands the nickel to the father and walks back to her seat at the coffee bar without saying a word. As soon as he is sure that his son has suffered no ill effects, the Father Rushes over to the woman and starts thanking her saying, “I’ve never seen anybody do anything like that before, it was fantastic. Are you a doctor?
‘No,’ the woman replied. I’m with Revenue Canada …’
What we really need is …
Published March 1, 2010 | Ok so my love of hockey won out over my loathing of the Olympics, and I watched the Olympic Hockey. I have to say that both the women’s and men’s team were Great and both won gold. But should this make me a proud Canadian? My answer is yes and NO. Yes because we have shown the world that we as a nation Rule the Sport. No because how can I be proud of a country that spends $6.5 BILLION on the Olympics when there are people here in Canada that have to make a choice between feeding their family or paying rent.
Come on people: is our image as a country defined by how good we are at sports, or should it be defined by how we treat our own citizens? We have traded our reputation for having the best health care and education system in the world to winning the most gold medals at some sports. I don’t want anyone to think that I am saying we should not support our athletes, but we need to hang our heads in shame.
Because of the Olympics, hospitals had to cancel all elective surgeries and even some that were non-elective. So why should we be proud of this?
And can some one please tell me why the Para-Olympics are NOT being showcased as much as the “regular” Olympics? Just because these people are not as “ABLE-BODIED” as the other Olympians does this mean their accomplishments are not as worthy of the Media coverage as the more able-bodied competitors?
When our Governments want to spend this kind of money we as a people should be DEMANDING that it be on something a little more tangible then a sporting event. When the Majority of today’s youth are functionally illiterate and we spend $100 million on a LUGE track that we can not use. I have to question the country’s mentality.
Personally I would rather see Canada as a world leader in Health Care, Education, and Housing, than on building a track that the average Canadian will NEVER get to use.
Let the Other Nations have the Gold Medals I would rather be able to say to the world that we have the Highest Standard of living for the average person, the BEST health care, and most educated population in the world.
Remember to Support Our Troops
Until next Time
I remain
The Cranky Old Bastard.
