Eerie tales from the trailer park…better put the kids to bed.

If you are looking for a few good laughs, you have to go to this website and read some of the topics I found this one and felt a need to share with you all.

The following is a true story that actually happened to me, when I was young a growing up in Tennessee. If you are easily scared by the paranormal, DO NOT GO FURTHER.

One time I had to spend the night at my aunts house because my mom said she just couldn’t deal with me one weekend. I was sleeping in the back room of her trailer when I heard some dude moaning. I slipped out of the room being very quiet and made my way towards the kitchenette/living room area. I could see my aunt laying on the kitchen table with some big ghost standing over her. They were both naked and it looked like the ghost dude was trying to enter my aunts body, presumably to take on her form or something. I guess the ghost heard me and he turned around and looked at me. I think he was a Civil War ghost since he had big sideburns, a mullet, and a hat with a rebel flag on it. He started screaming in his ghost language and I could see his lower part of his body was covered in a light glaze of ectoplasm. He had already possessed my Aunt since she started to scream at me and tell me to go back to bed instead of saving her. I ran back to my room/tool shed and hid under the covers until dawn.

That morning I freaked out even harder since there was no trace of the ghost dude and my Aunt pretended like nothing had happened. When I tried to ask her she said I must have had a bad dream and to shut up and eat my hot pocket. Oh yeah, my aunt gives me hot pockets for breakfast. It’s pretty awesome.

When my mom came to pick me up later, I got into the car and as we drove off, I saw the ghost dude parked down the street in an old pick up truck and he smiled and waved at me. I crapped my pants so hard right then and punched the passenger window so hard it broke. I tried to tell my mother what was happening as she was punching me, but she just wouldn’t listen. I guess the ghost got to her too or something!!!!

 So now I have a few questions; First of all. Why do they let these people breed?  If we could sterilize these fuckers then they could not continue inbreeding with their first cousins. Secondly; why is it always from places like Tennessee? There are only two things wrong with Tennessee 1 It is full of these dumb fuckers and 2 it is in the U.S.A. I would say nuke the fucking place but the survivors there would just end up being retarded mutants and would still continue to inbreed.

 Next Question is. Who the fuck would decide that out of a pantheon of TWO Gods, to worship the weaker one? But lets not get started on that right now let’s get back to this twatwaffles story. Is it just me or does anyone else out there find this too fucking funny?  I want to know what this fucktard’s mother was smoking while she was pregnant with him, or is this natural with all inbreeds? I should ask around Langford.

When he describes the ghost I immediately thought it was the ghost of Duane Allman or Ronnie Van Zant. And how the fuck does he know it was a “ghost language” and not just a thick southern accent? And we can tell from his comment “He had already possessed my Aunt since she started to scream at me and tell me to go back to bed instead of saving her” that at his aunt was not possessed but just having an orgasm or afraid that the kid would recognize his Uncle Daddy. That fact that he gets hot pockets for breakfast is one of the most believable lines in this bullshit. I wonder if he knows he is supposed to eat them and not use them to jerk off with.

Could somebody please tell me what civil war ghost drives a pick up truck? And was it a Ford G.M. or Dodge, or do they buy foreign?

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Until Next time
I remain

The Cranky Old Bastard


  1. Who is the best MMA boxer?

    • The Cranky Old Boy says

      See My reply to the other fuctard that asked me something non related to this post