What a bunch of BULLSHIT

Apparently some people find me RUDE and ABUSIVE. WELL TOO FUCKING BAD!!! I never ever claimed to be polite or well mannered. So why the fuck do people insist that I should  tone down what I say and try to be more sensitive. I have said it before and I will say it again; I AM AN ASSHOLE SO DEAL WITH IT. If you don’t like what I have to say, fine FUCK OFF!!! I don’t care. If you agree with what I am saying but think I should not curse so much FUCK OFF AND GET YOUR OWN WEBSITE!!!

Now I can hear you asking why is he going into this rant again? The answer is easy. YOU FUCKING MORONS KEEP SENDING ME SHIT IN MY EMAIL BOX.

I received this today and I decided I would respond to every comment on this. My reply will be in Italics. That means fancy looking. Like this.

1. Life isn’t fair, but it’s still good. Fuck this shit life sucks and is never fair get used to it
2. When in doubt, just take the next small step. Preferably off a cliff or in front of a bus.
3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. That is why you should hate EVERYONE
4. Your job won’t take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and parents will. Stay in touch. No your parents and friends will just leech off you until the day you die.
5. Pay off your credit cards every month. Better yet don’t have credit cards and say FUCK YOU to the big banks.
6. You don’t have to win every argument. Agree to disagree. To hell with that. Kick the living shit out of them until they submit.
7. Cry with someone. It’s more healing than crying alone. yeah that’s the ticket cry like a little PUSSY
8. It’s OK to get angry with God. He can take it.  Yeah just read the ten Commandments to see how that will work out for you.
9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck. Like I said above Leech off your Kids and friends until the day you DIE
10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile. WTF is chocolate now the BORG
11. Make peace with your past so it won’t screw up the present.  No just don’t don’t fuck up in the first place.
12. It’s OK to let your children see you cry. Yes let them know their parents are  no more them Giant Pussies and they really don’t have to worry about living up to anyone’s standards
13. Don’t compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.  Fuck their journeys and while you are at it FUCK THEM AS WELL
14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn’t be in it. Well if your girlfriend  or wife knew how to satisfy you you would not need to have a secret relationship now would you?
15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don’t worry; God never blinks.  That’s right because he doesn’t FUCKING EXSIST
16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind. Better yet take a deep breath under water.
17. Get rid of anything that isn’t useful, beautiful or joyful. That does it the wife is GONE
18. Whatever doesn’t kill you really does make you stronger. Go ahead and try this one by holding a loaded 357 to your head and squeezing the trigger. See how much stronger you get.
19. It’s never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else. Do you hear that Father Bad Touch
20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don’t take no for an answer. Rape Charges be damned No really means Yes and that restraining Order really means she wants you to sit outside her house in you van
21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don’t save it for a special occasion. Today is special. And so are you… Very Special…as in Special Ed.
22. Over prepare, then go with the flow. You can never have too many condoms on hand and you never know when your wife will get drunk with her girlfriends and let you have that threesome.
23. Be eccentric now. Don’t wait for old age to wear purple. Old age wears Purple? Does that mean barney is Old?
24. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.  And you have MY permission to say so.
25. Frame every so-called disaster with these words ”In five years, will this matter?”  Do all you people in New Orleans hear that in five years you won’t matter…not that you matter now.
26. Always choose life.  When the fuck did this become MULTIPLE CHOICE?
27. Forgive everyone everything. hoot first, forgive latter.
28. What other people think of you is none of your business. okay I have to agree with this one because I don’t give a RATS ASS what you think of me.
29. Time heals almost everything. Give time, time. Except Herpes, that shit stays with you for life…Just like luggage.
30. However good or bad a situation is, it will change. It only goes down hill so hang the fuck on.
31. Don’t take yourself so seriously. No one else does. Yeah try being late paying your bills and see how serious they are.
32. Believe in miracles. and behold the wonder that is me.
33. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn’t do. Okay let’s just chuck the ten comandments out the fucking window then.
34. Don’t audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.  Fuck that Procrastinate NOW … DON’T PUT IT OFF!!!
35. Growing old beats the alternative — dying young. What about dying at middle age? I guess you are fucked both ways.
36. Your children get only one childhood. So I guess that cancles out number 19 
37. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved. And if you loved in the wrong end  she may be walking funny.
38. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere. Tell that to thoose homeless assholes.
39. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else’s, we’d grab ours back. Fuck that shit. Keep your personal life  personal.
40. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need. If we already have all we need why the fuck do we have to work?
41. The best is yet to come. All over your face.
42. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up. So you can Fuck up.
43. Yield. To my infinite glory
44. Life isn’t tied with a bow, but it’s still a gift. And I wish some of you would give it back,

So there you have my view on all this feel good shit.

Remember to Support Our Troops

Until Next Time
I remain

The Cranky Old Bastard


  1. It was about time that I finally read something worthwile. Keep up the good work!


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